Everything’s Coming Up Anna

A year ago, things looked bleak. Hell, a month ago things looked bleak. I won’t go into details – I’ll just say : “State-Wide University Budget Cut”, and “I’m on the bottom of the totem pole.”

Not that I didn’t know I’d be losing my job: our contracts were only for a nine month school year. My department gives priority to recent graduates, as they should. I certainly wouldn’t have gotten hired the first year out if they didn’t. That doesn’t make it suck any less though.

So, I got to work on job applications. In a very unusual turn of events (for me), I focused on job applications and not worrying. And you know what?

It paid off!

It didn’t just pay off a little. Oh yes, oh yes, I’ve landed my DREAM JOB with the A&T honors program. I get to teach, I get to work with smart and hard working kids, I get….my own office!!! With a WINDOW! I never dreamed this day would come. Seriously.

My response was something like this:

And a bit more accurately, if my life were a muscial, this would be the response:

For as much as I often feel like a total screw up, I guess I’m doing something right? I have a job, I have a skeleton of a short story collection (may have slacked on submissions, but I’m working…), I did sixteen miles in spin class on wednesday, and I haven’t killed any of the herbs in my window garden. Yet.

I’m ok. I’m alright!

Up next: furniture. Since I get to stay in Greensboro, I can buy real furniture and not stuff that I got on the side of the road. Literally.

I need suggestion. I want nice furniture, but not super expensive. I don’t want ikea, and I don’t want to buy a magenta couch from someone’s great aunt Muriel’s estate sale.

That’s all! Except to say that I’m back in the kitchen… turkey tacos tonight!

United Airlines – The Worst Flight Experience Ever.

I have just returned from a flight process that should have taken 12 hours, but that instead took 30+, and that left me stranded in San Francisco overnight. United would NOT put me on a flight to Charlotte, even though there was room and time, because their merger with Continental has left them a disorganized mess. They could not communicate with Continental even though this was A) who I had originally booked my flight with and B) part of their own airline!
They then would not pay for my stay in San Fran, and offered me an airport bench. (Ok, I’m a small 25 year old woman – not happening. I wonder how the head of United would feel if someone suggested HIS daughter do that. Probably wouldn’t be too happy).
On my flight from San Fran to DC the next morning, they wouldn’t let me carry on my carry on suitcase, even though it was appropriately sized, because I was in the back of the plane, and they claimed to have no room. Rather than do a gate check on it, they told me that they would, as a “special favor!” check the bag. Kudos to them for trying to spin that, but I’m not buying it. This left me without my carry-on for the next 13 hours that it took for me to get to DC, have my flight delayed there for SIX HOURS, and then the other hour it took for them to sort out my luggage after it got delayed (which is why I didn’t want to check it).
United was incredibly unhelpful. The flight attendants were fine, but the gate representatives were abysmal and completely disorganized. In DC, when they kept pushing the flight back, they gave passengers no information. My boyfriend, sitting at home with his PC, had better luck knowing what was going on. There were several elderly people on our flight, as well as women with very small children. I wonder how the head of United would feel if those were HIS parents, or HIS wife, or HIS children? Gate attendants were not only unhelpful, but they were rude to passengers as well as two each other. One gate attendant had a particularly bad attitude – I think she may have had a behavior disorder similar to that seen in five year old bullies pushing kids into sand pits on play grounds – she kept yelling at her coworkers and snapping at them. I don’t know what she had going on in her life, maybe a lot, but so did the passengers.
So, Continental/ United/ whoever the hell you are now, congratulations. You have now completely exceeded my expectations of how absolutely terrible an airline can be. These days, that’s pretty hard, considering how entirely inept and pathetic so many carriers tend to be.
This is to say:
I am back with more posts.
And never EVER
EVER
EVER
book a flight with Continental and/or United!

Here’s a great story on the Huffington Post about how terrible United is!

Ho Ho Ho.

Christmas Shmishtmus.

I’m just ready for the end of the semester. And the end of this year. I have no holiday cheer. Not even snow is doing it for me nope, nor holiday baking. My great-aunt died, as did Elizabeth Edwards. And then yesterday, I nicked my finger on my mandolin yesterday. OUCH. There’s a reason that it says “Watch your fingers” on the damn thing.

On the plus side, I do know that that blade doesn’t need sharpening, and that it cuts pretty deep (my pinkie finger can verify). Thankfully, Quinn came and saved me! (Hero of the month, for sure!) He took care of my bloody, nasty finger, and finished dinner.

In case you were interested, I cut my finger slicing apples for sauerkraut.

1. 2 tablespoons butter in a heavy pan

2. Add half an onion (5 minutes)

3. Add 3 cans canned sauerkraut, let sit for 5 minutes

5. Add a grated apple  (but don’t freaking cut yourself!)

6. Supposedly, you should then cover it with boiling water and 1/4 cup white wine, but I was too busy rolling on my sofa and holding a rag to my finger (Mom, I’m ok. Quit worrying. At least I didn’t spill boiling pot liquor on myself….)

I was also going to make spaetzle, but didn’t. Bloody spaetzle would NOT have been good.

OK. So I’m too pissy for Christmas. Someone tell me what to bake. Here’s the list:

Cheese Straws (ma, send me your recipe, I recently inherited a cookie press)

Gramma Kate Helen’s Peanut Brittle (which, my gramma would tell me “don’t fool with that!”

Gramma Kathleen’s Fudge and/or divinity (yeah mom, send me all those recipes, when you get a chance…. )

A Bûche De Noel. (Merry Christmas mom, get the kitchen aid dusted. This is what we’re doing when I get back). This bûche is not to be confused with La Bûche, a great French Christmas movie. And I’m feeling only French Christmas movies this year.

So that’s what I got. Merry Christmas? Eh.

Ok, here’s something good:

Brown a pound and a half of chicken wings in a dutch oven (Love my Le Creuset!)

Ok, you’ve browned the wings, now, add a little bit of salt, some poultry seasoning, half a cup of brown sugar, and enough coca cola to cover this chicken. Simmer it for thirty minutes, then cover and throw it in the oven on 325 for like, 2 hours, stirring every thirty minutes. Seriously, if you have a hot date and want to impress him or her, make this. If they are a vegetarian, go ahead and save your trouble and kick them to the curb, or you’ll be stuck eating beans and rice and looking forward to that Thanksgiving Tofurkey!

Just kidding.

Not really.

Oh Christmas, I am so over you.

What I feel like today



AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL.

Don’t worry possum, almost Thanksgiving!

And also I’m back, more updates, including THE BEST APPLE CAKE YOU DIDN’T  GET TO EAT! (Boo ya.)

Vegetarian Chili

Alright mes amis. Not everything I make is vegetarian. It’s just that mostly, it is, because mostly, what I like to eat is vegetables, I guess? It’s not really an ethical thing, ok, except that once this schmuck I was dating made me watch this PETA video at the end of a Morrissey concert video. Ick.  No, it was totally cool though, it just meant eating a tofurkey for thanksgiving. Ick.

Ok, that said, here is a recipe for vegetarian chili, which, while not as good as a big bowl of Dinglewood chili dumped on a scrambled dog (yeah you columbus folk know what I’m talking about), is pretty good.

1. Chop up: an onion, a green bell pepper, and, a squash of your choice depending on the season. I used a zucchini for this one. Put a garlic through your garlic press, or, if you don’t  have one, mince.

2. Heat oil in a large, heavy skillet (I use my cast iron) . Throw in the onion and green bell peppers, let them get soft for five minutes. Then stir in a tablespoon each of cumin and coriander, two teaspoons of chili powder, and a pinch of mustard. Then, add the zucchini. Then, if you are really adventurous, which I am, throw in a packet of frozen Boca beef crumbles. OR, if you really, really need meat, I guess you could add beef, though I’d recommend that after the onion and before the bell pepper.

3. Meanwhile, cut up either a 28 ounce can of tomatoes, or peel and cut up three or four medium sized tomatoes. Throw those in a soup pot along with two cans of your favorite beans. I used white and kidney. you can use whatever you want. Except garbanzos. That might be kind of weird.

4. After everything in your other pot has gotten good and soft, empty it into the soup pot. Let that simmer for like ten minutes.

5. Ok! Almost done! Now, just serve it with cilantro, cheese, and/or sour cream. Because I am a fatty, I used all. ALL!

Ok. So make that. And THEN, go see this movie.

It’s very dark, but very, very good.

It’s about a girl trying to track down her meth cooking pop who may or may not be dead, but who certainly put the house up as collateral for his bond. She’s got a whacked out mom and two kid siblings. I want to read the book, which is by Daniel Woodrell, who visited our workshop a few years ago, and who was a really nice guy and a really good workshop leader.

Ok, so you’ve made chili, you’ve watched Winter’s Bone, and now, you will make this artichoke dip from The Pioneer Woman. I had some last night, with this wonderful bread that Amanda had made for me. I wish I’d taken a picture, but it was so good that I literally just inhaled the whole thing.

D’accord. C’est tout pour maintenant.

Tortilla Soup

Sometimes, things, people, the world, just conspire to suck. (If only my vacuum cleaner would join in that conspiracy. It, alas, does not suck. Bad pun. I know. Deal).

That’s where I am right now. Suck suck suck, suckity suck, suck.

It’s ok. It’ll get better. Im getting busy, re-learning French, working on a Fulbright application, working on short stories, working on a syllabus (ok, that part isn’t making it any better…gr…. who wants to do work. Except for that getting paid part)

Tonight is just a slump. Despite the fact that I spent the afternoon at the Carolina Moonshine Festival. Which actually, was great. I toured a still, had some moonshine, ate a quality fried fish sandwich, heard some music. Great. Great. Great.

But Sunday nights suck. They just suck.

So, to make it suck less, I made some Tortilla Soup. Which, every time I make it, I think of the time Momma accidentally burned herself (ouch, real bad) and my friend’s grandmother, the wonderful Gan, brought over some tortilla soup. Which was great, but only half as great as Gan’s southern pronunciation of tortilla. She has one of the greatest accents I’ve ever heard.

So I made some tonight. Easy.

1. Get your cast iron skillet. Throw in a pepper (I used jalapeno, pablano might be good, too), and two cloves of garlic. Do not peel! Roast for 15 minutes, until your garlic looks brown and your pepper has one of those big black bruises on its side.

2. Peel the garlic, chop the top off the pepper, and put them in a food processer. Pulse. Then, add a can of whole tomatoes, drain, and puree for like, five seconds.

3. Thinly slice half an onion, throw it in your soup pot, and brown on medium high. Then, add the tomato mixture. Let that get thick for about five minutes.

4. Add three cups of chicken broth or stock. Simmer for 15 minutes.

5. Meanwhile, you are making your own chips. You could buy them from the store, but you, my friend, are a beast, and you are making your own, in the same cast iron skillet, with the same oil from when you roasted the garlic. They will be wonderful, and unless you are my father, who is on a low sodium diet and would love to tell you about it, you can add salt.

6. After your soup gets done simmering, season with a teaspoon or two of salt (though, if you are Fife Whiteside, you won’t add any. Sorry dad).

7. Just before you serve, bring the soup to a boil, throw in your chips, and boil for about 3 or so minutes.

8. Serve with queso fresco or monteray jack, sour cream if you’re a fatty like me, cilantro, and, if you are still working on last week’s rotisserie chicken, that too.

Stalker

I’m probably losing my mind. For the past few weeks, I’ve been stalking. I know where they live, I have been observing their activities, and last night, I took pictures.

When I was a kid, I loved to feed the ducks at the cemetery (which I called the Duck Center); not much has changed. Yesterday evening, I went on a walk to see the ducks. I climbed into the weeds and waited until this group came around the corner.

Ducklings! Freaking ducklings! I know the picture sucks, but forgive me. It was twilight, the ducks were kept moving, and I was just overwhelmed by their cuteness.

So, I’m watching the ducks, thinking about how peaceful and wonderful it all is, when the Momma Duck saw something.

And they were off.

Why were they off? THIS!!!

Ok, yeah. That is a rat. A rat that’s bigger than my cat. A rat the size of a GODDAMN DOG!!! But you know, somehow, I didn’t throw up, and instead, managed to take this picture. That’s a big step for me.

Ok, one more cute picture to get that out of your mind.

Sleeping duck!

Ok. That’s all. Tonight, after the Glee season finale is over (Cory Monteith /Finn, please be my  boyfriend. I love you), I make pimiento cheese sandwiches and cucumber and butter sandwiches. Pictures tomorrow. Also: pictures from kayaking?

Hot, Hot Summer

Greetings from the *very warm!* one bedroom apartment.

Yes, my AC is out. The plus: the beginning of this week is supposed to be cool. The minus: The end is not. Let’s hope the landlords get someone over here soon!

Alright, really big round-up of stuff.

Stuff 1: Thai Red Curry with Tofu.

Ok, easy. Heat one can of coconut milk on medium, throw in a tablespoon or so of red curry paste, mix it up. Add tsp brown sugar and two tsp fish sauce. One you’ve got that simmering, throw in some trimmed and chopped green beans and some cubed tofu. Serve with sliced basil. So easy, so good, no excuse.

Stuff 2: The Greensboro Downtown Farmer’s Market

I needed some milk today, while I was downtown joining the Y and asking my landlords please can I have some AC. I didn’t want to go all the way out  to the grocery store, so what luck, I remembered the Downtown Farmer’s Market.

This is not affiliated with the Farmer’s Curbside Market, however, it has a lot of the same vendors, like the Calico Cheese Company, the Julian Creamery, and the French Lady’s baked goods. Not everything is local (in fact, I bought some Dole bananas, and noted some avocados from Mexico), but, it’s a really good start, and really convenient for me. It is on Green St., just to the right of the intersection with Smith st.

Stuff 3: Pretty Peonies

Bought these at the Farmer’s Curbside Market last Saturday. Unfortunately, they are toxic to cats. Major Bummer. But they are still lovely.

Stuff 4 Old Bike

My old bike is for sale – something is really up with the chain. Majorly. I’m putting it on craigslist for 20 bucks, but just wanted to give anyone out there first dibs.

Ok, I think that’s all. Tomorrow: Pictures of baby ducks, and a surprise creature. Stay tuned….

Things I Like

First off, the Braves are in the lead in the national league. They are officially better than the Phillies (but, they always were!)

In honor of that, I thought I’d post a video from a game played by another Braves.

Braves, my Braves, I will never forsake you again! Your minor league coaches are crazy, and your players are crazy good!

Ok, something else I like:

Aren’t they great? Call me anachronistic, but I love this.  I’ll be listening to this on my car ride back. Along with my podcasts of this American Life. Any other suggestions for something that could kill time for a 7 hour drive (with cat!)?

Ok. The last thing. Anyone south of the Mason Dixon line, stretching out to Missouri, believes that their city has the best BBQ. The only difference: If you don’t live in Columbus, you are just wrong.

Here are my three favorite BBQ places:

Country’s

Ok, their food is good – the treatment of women in this video, well…

This is pretty much the quintessential Columbus BBQ joint. It’s been around for a long time – my mom waited tables there in the 1970s. It’s the gathering spot for those of us who’ve moved away. My favorite is the chopped pork platter, though my brother prefers the ribs. They also have fabulous vegetables (both fried and not!) Dad and I went for lunch today – he had fried eggplant. Delicious.

Chester’s

I hadn’t been to this one until this weekend. We waited for forty five minutes for the ribs we ordered, but daaamn. Worth it. I don’t normally like ribs, but so. so. so. worth it. The sauce alone was great – almost North Carolina vinegar-y, but not quite. Just good. If you are in Columbus, then go. Just make sure you have forty five minutes to wait! Also, it should be known that they won a Hoodie award from Steve Harvey. I think that speaks for itself.

Macon Road BBQ

About a mile down the road from Country’s is Macon Road BBQ. I have a lot of friends who prefer this one. I don’t…until I go there. I always flip flop on whether I like the chopped pork better here, or at Country’s. For ambience, and I mean real honest to God southern ambience, this is it.

Alright, those are things I like. I have one more day in the finest state on earth before going back to mmmm, the second finest state on earth. What to do…

Tags: barbeque, baseball, music

My Big, Fat, Ugly Cake

I make ugly cakes. Just like every ugly craft I’ve ever made, they always start out as a perfect vision in my head, and then somehow go horribly awry. This doesn’t mean that they taste bad, just that they are ugly

I made this cake today. It was ugly. It tasted wonderful, but it was ugly. The last cake I made was an ugly cake, and this one is, too.

It looks like someone is bleeding all over it- or like a zombie threw up blood all over it (ok, all my students wanted to write about in workshop last semester was zombies and vampires! Agh!)

But anyway, it was a totally easy cake. You need:

1 cup of flour

7 eggs, separated

1/4 tsp salt

1 cup of sugar

1 tsp vanilla

1 tsp grated lemon zest

2/3 tsp cream of tartar

1. Sift the flour and salt together three times, and then return to the sifter

2. In your kitchenaid, on high speed, mix together 2/3 cups of sugar, 7 egg yolks, and the vanilla. When it’s thick and creamy, add the lemon zest.

3. Remove this mixture to a large bowl. Clean out the original. Sift the flour mixture over the batter, but don’t mix.

4. in the now clean kitchenaid bowl, beat the egg whites and cream of tartar on high until soft peaks form. To determine whether or not they are soft, cut off the mixer and pull out the whisk. It should look like this.

Once these have formed, turn it up to high again, and this time add in 1/3 cup of sugar. Beat until the peaks are stiff, which should look like this

Fold in a quarter of the egg whites, and then dump the whole thing in and fold it into the batter. When you’ve sufficiently folded it in, dump the whole thing into either a spring form pan or a tube pan. Don’t grease it! The batter needs to stick to the walls for the structure of the cake.

Another thing to remember: don’t punch the bottom in. I did this. And this is what happened.

Yuck! But I made a cake save.

Stick it in the oven for 45 minutes on 325. When you take it out, let it cool, upside down, for at least an hour and a half.

Cut it in half through the middle. Then, layer each cut size with whipped cream (See recipe under Tres Leches cupcakes). Layer strawberries on top. Put one layer on top of the other.

Cake! Mine was ugly. Yours will be prettier.

Tags: cakes, strawberries, whipped cream